I sat by my mom’s bedside, her breathing rhythmic but distant, while I clung to each word of “When Breath Becomes Air.” A raw narrative of a neurosurgeon’s confrontation with his mortality, the book resonated with the echo of my own struggle. Each night, under the dimmed lights, the book became an extension of my emotions – a reflection of my journey alongside my mother, her unconscious state hanging between life and death for the past three years after a devastating brain injury.
The author, Paul Kalanithi, was just a few years younger than me, standing on the precipice of a brilliant career in neurosurgery, when he was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. Just like that, his life spun on its axis. The doctor who once offered answers now sought them. His role reversed, from a healer facing the inevitability of death in his patients, to a patient desperate to grasp onto the threads of life. His dreams, ambitions, and the life he had meticulously planned with his wife, all vanished in a whiff of smoke, leaving behind profound questions about life, death, and what makes our existence meaningful.
The narrative is powerful. It’s a memoir that digs deep into the marrow of human existence and confronts the toughest questions we all grapple with. What does it mean to live when you know the end is near? How do we find meaning when the staircase of future aspirations suddenly collapses into the flat terrain of a never-ending present? And what significance does bringing a new life into this world hold, when you’re simultaneously watching another life fading away?
These are questions Kalanithi wrestles with, and in his struggle, I found solace. He candidly shares his transformation from a young medical student, burning with curiosity about the complexities of life and death, to an accomplished neurosurgeon navigating the intricacies of the human brain – the cradle of our identity – and then finally, to a patient and a new father grappling with his impending mortality.
Paul Kalanithi left us in March 2015, in the midst of penning this book. But his voice, his courage, and his insights persist beyond his mortal existence. He writes, “I began to realize that coming face to face with my own mortality, in a sense, had changed nothing and everything.” This notion reverberated within me, and his tenacity echoed in Samuel Beckett’s words, “I can’t go on. I’ll go on.”
To me, “When Breath Becomes Air” is more than a memoir; it’s a testament of resilience, an exploration of the deep connection between doctor and patient, a reflection on the daunting challenge of facing death, and an affirmation of life that even in the face of death remains bright. The echoes of Kalanithi’s wisdom and the indelible mark of his spirit will live on, offering guidance and solace, just like they did for me in the quiet hours by my mother’s side. This book, soaked with my tears of empathy, sorrow, and admiration, will forever remain a beacon during my own ongoing struggle.
When Breath Becomes Air Book Club Questions
Reflecting on “When Breath Becomes Air,” here are some thought-provoking questions for a book club discussion:
- “When Breath Becomes Air” is a deeply personal story. How did it make you reflect on your own mortality and the way you’re living your life?
- How did Kalanithi’s dual role as a doctor and patient influence his perspective on life and death? Could you sense a shift in his perspective in the narrative?
- Paul was a student of literature before he turned to medicine. How did this background influence his understanding of his illness and his approach to writing the book?
- Discuss the role of Paul’s wife, Lucy, in the book. How did her support contribute to Paul’s fight against cancer and his drive to write the book?
- Paul describes his life as ‘flattening out into a perpetual present’ after his diagnosis. How did this shift in perspective affect his understanding of the meaning of life?
- The birth of his daughter, Cady, was a significant event in the latter part of Paul’s life. How did impending fatherhood change his outlook on his situation?
- What does the Samuel Beckett quote “I can’t go on. I’ll go on.” signify to Paul in the context of his illness?
- In the face of his own mortality, Paul asks, “What makes life worth living in the face of death?” After reading his journey, how would you answer this question?
- The epilogue is written by Lucy, Paul’s wife. How did this continuation of the narrative after Paul’s death affect your understanding of his journey and its impact?
- Finally, what did you find most impactful in the book, and what lessons will you carry forward from “When Breath Becomes Air”?
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