In this post, I am introducing you to Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand in the Sun, and Be Your Own Person by Shonda Rhimes. This inspiring book chronicles a year in Shonda’s life where she challenged herself to say “yes” to everything that scared her. First, we will talk about the key themes and story in the book, followed by some memorable quotes that highlight Shonda’s wit, vulnerability, and wisdom. Finally, I will share a set of book club questions to spark engaging and thoughtful discussions.
Shonda Rhimes Year of Yes Summary
In Year of Yes, Shonda Rhimes, the powerhouse creator of hit shows like Grey’s Anatomy and Scandal, recounts a transformative year in her life. It all starts at Thanksgiving dinner when her sister casually mutters, “You never say yes to anything.” Those six words linger and haunt Shonda, serving as a wake-up call. She realizes that, despite her massive success, her life has become small, confined by fear and the comfort of saying no. She decides to set herself a challenge: for one year, she will say “yes” to everything that scares her.
Shonda shares how she had always been an introvert—someone who dreaded public appearances, suffered panic attacks before interviews, and hired a publicist specifically to avoid being seen. “No” was her safety net, her go-to excuse. It was easier to bury herself in work and her carefully controlled world. But this year-long commitment forces her to confront her fears head-on.
The journey takes Shonda into uncharted territory. She says yes to giving public speeches, including a nerve-wracking appearance at Dartmouth College, her alma mater. She steps into the spotlight, accepting interviews with Oprah and others that she would’ve previously dodged. These experiences push her to confront her anxiety and find her voice, not just as a writer but as herself.
But the year isn’t just about external achievements. Shonda dives deeper into saying yes to her own needs and boundaries. She learns to say yes to her health, shedding over 100 pounds as part of reclaiming her body and well-being. She also says yes to difficult conversations, which means setting boundaries with friends and loved ones—even walking away from relationships that no longer serve her. Perhaps most striking is her decision to say no to marriage. Shonda realizes she doesn’t want to be someone’s wife, despite societal expectations, because her work and life fulfill her in a way marriage would not.
Through this year, Shonda also learns to play. She says yes to spending time with her children in a more joyful and present way. She recounts moments where she lets herself dance it out, a phrase inspired by her shows, to embrace happiness unapologetically.
In one particularly resonant moment, Shonda grapples with learning to say “thank you” and take the compliment. She realizes how often women, herself included, downplay their achievements or deflect praise. This part of her journey reveals how learning to own her success and accept admiration is just as important as conquering fear.
By the end of the Year of Yes, Shonda finds herself transformed. She is bolder, freer, and far more authentic—embracing a life where she no longer says “no” out of fear but chooses “yes” for herself. Through her vulnerability, humor, and honesty, Shonda paints a picture of a woman finding her way back to herself and redefining what it means to live fully.
Here is a short video I created for this summary
Shonda Rhimes Year of Yes Quotes
Here are some interesting quotes that stood out to me from Shonda Rhimes’ Year of Yes:
- “I am not lucky. You know what I am? I am smart, I am talented, I take advantage of the opportunities that come my way and I work really, really hard. Don’t call me lucky. Call me a badass.”
- “Dreams are lovely. But they are just dreams. Fleeting, ephemeral. Pretty. But dreams do not come true just because you dream them. It’s hard work that makes things happen. It’s hard work that creates change.”
- “There is no list of rules. There is one rule. The rule is: there are no rules. Happiness comes from living as you need to, as you want to”
- “Who you are today . . . that’s who you are. Be brave. Be amazing. Be worthy. And every single time you get the chance? Stand up in front of people. Let them see you. Speak. Be heard. Go ahead and have the dry mouth. Let your heart beat so, so fast.”
- “You can quit a job. I can’t quit being a mother. I’m a mother forever. Mothers are never off the clock, mothers are never on vacation. Being a mother redefines us, reinvents us, destroys and rebuilds us. Being a mother brings us face-to-face with ourselves as children, with our mothers as human beings, with our darkest fears of who we really are.”
- “You know what happens when all of your dreams come true? Nothing. I realized a very simple truth: that success, fame, having all my dreams come true would not fix or improve me, it wasn’t an instant potion for personal growth.”
- “Happiness comes from living as you need to, as you want to. As your inner voice tells you to. Happiness comes from being who you actually are instead of who you think you are supposed to be.”
- “No matter how hard a conversation is, I know that on the other side of that difficult conversation lies peace.”
Related: David Grann The Wager Summary
Book Club Questions
Here are some engaging book club questions for Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes:
- Shonda’s sister says, “You never say yes to anything.” How did this comment act as a turning point in Shonda’s life? Have you ever had a similar wake-up moment?
- Which of Shonda’s fears resonated with you the most? Do you think fear often holds people back more than they realize?
- Shonda learns to say “yes” to herself, which sometimes means saying “no” to others. How do you personally balance saying yes to others versus prioritizing yourself?
- Why do you think Shonda struggled with accepting compliments? Do you relate to this struggle?
- Shonda decides not to marry because her work and life fulfill her. What do you think of her decision? How do societal expectations influence similar choices for women?
- How did Shonda’s honesty about her introversion, anxiety, and insecurities impact your view of her?
- Shonda says yes to playing with her children and rediscovering joy. How did this part of her journey affect you?
- Shonda’s commitment to her health and weight loss is part of her transformation. How does this reflect her larger personal growth?
- How do Shonda’s experiences challenge or reinforce stereotypes about introverts?
- Shonda says yes to both big things, like public speaking, and small things, like accepting compliments. Which moments did you find most relatable or impactful?
- If you had to commit to a Year of Yes, what kinds of things would you say yes to?
- Are there situations in your life where you default to “no” out of fear? How might saying “yes” change things for you?
- Shonda talks about “badassery” as embracing your authentic self. What does “badassery” look like for you?
- Shonda realizes fear had made her life smaller. Have you ever felt like fear limited you?
- What’s one compliment you’ve received that you struggle to accept or believe?
- What was your favorite part of Shonda’s journey? Which chapter or moment stayed with you the most?
- How did Shonda’s candid and humorous tone enhance your reading experience?
- Do you think such a life transformation is possible for anyone, as Shonda achieved in a year?
- How did Year of Yes change your perspective on fear, boundaries, and living authentically?
- Would you recommend this book to others? Who do you think would benefit the most from reading it?
For similar works, check out our Memoirs section!
Final thoughts
I hope you have enjoyed this introduction to Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes. If you haven’t yet read this insightful, funny, and empowering book, I highly recommend adding it to your reading list. It’s a refreshing reminder to confront fear, embrace joy, and say “yes” to the moments that matter most. Happy reading!
